The content you didn’t ask for, but the content you deserve.
The Tothdyssey
What unites people? A good team? MMR? Wins? Stories. There’s nothing in the world more powerful than a good story. Nothing can stop it. No team can defeat it. And who has a better story than Toth the Broken? What kind of story will this be? A profound story. The most important story in PST’s mythos. Homer and the Odyssey? Nay. Toth and the Tothdyssey. In the times of yore (about 3 days prior to the season 22 draft), Toth had a sudden realization. An understanding that would shake RD2L to it’s very core. What was the cause of his awakening? The time for sandbagging was almost at an end. The clock was close to midnight, and to make matters worse… he was signed up as a Captain. Now, in all fairness, Toth had already captained successful teams in the past; obtaining both a top-8 and a top-4 placement. His teams were rapidly ascending to legendary status in PST; a well-respected powerhouse with the name of the titan: Toth’s Thots. Everyone who was anyone knew it was only a matter of time before Toth and his Thots stamped their names as PST’s most venerated Champions. Toth was finally, with a little help from Gronaldo, going to fulfill his lifelong goal of becoming a PST champion. I wish I could tell you that this all came to pass. That Toth’s Thots were victorious in season 22. That this story ends here…
Alas, it does not. That aforementioned realization? It was cataclysmic! And so powerful that it would resound throughout the entire division. The simplest of issues can birth disasters. You might be wondering, what could it possibly be? No need to theorize: Toth realized that he would not be able to select Gronaldo in the upcoming draft. Unfortunately, Toth had forsaken prudence. He did not heed the cautionary tales of his youth. Much like Icarus, he had flown too close to the sun. His MMR rose too high, he loved Windranger too hard, and he dared too much. He grasped for Ancient, overreached, and fell. Now only one thing was certain: Toth needed a new plan. And so he made one. Slaving away, hours passed. Days! No food. No water. There was no time for sustenance. But the result was well worth it. In the end, Toth had completed the impossible. The blueprint was perfect. Gronaldo, not Toth, was going to Captain. The plan was in place! All would be well! Or so we all assumed…
But then he came. The other, that bears no name. Mortals call this insidious creature “Jabinskiz”, and he is the bane of all RD2L. No man can rightly say which plane of existence Jabinskiz hails from, but it is safe to conclude no gamer would survive even a moment in such a hellscape. Jabinskiz is driven by a singular purpose: to tear down RD2L, one team at a time. It had closely followed Toth’s ascension as PST’s most celebrated hero, and knew it had to act before it was too late. How? Using dark and sinister methods yet unknown to gamers, Jabinskiz uncovered Toth’s plan. Was it even possible to foil such a perfect plan? Yes. There was a hole in the plan, a miniscule gap that Toth, despite all his wisdom, did not think to account for. Jabinskiz was amused; because despite Toth’s reputation… Jabinskiz knew that it would triumph. Furthermore, it knew what it must do: draft Toth before Gronaldo had the opportunity.
As of now, you might be thinking… this Toth fellow doesn’t sound all that wise, anyone could have done the same thing as Jabinskiz… But you must understand, Toth had accounted for this. Toth knew he was an anti-value hero spammer, and was sure no Captain would possibly pick him before the final round. But as we all know, Jabinskiz is no Captain. And so Toth, much like his divine plan, was broken. And from the ruins, Ancient 7 was born.
They don’t call me content king of PST for nothing. Also stop pinging me about content, or you’ll just get more of this. And nobody wants that, at least I hope. Also special thanks to MOCA for proofreading and suggestions on change.
Ancient 7 Review
Jabinskiz:
Jabinskiz was a really fun guy, like the sort of person you just get along with. But he also kinda hated DOTA, I think he played 3 pubs the entire season lmao, and all 3 were on the second day of the season. Sometimes the call of Temtem is just too much to ignore. Honestly who can blame the guy, once he realized how badly he fucked up by drafting me… I would quit DOTA as well. Still he was super positive even after all our laning stage disasters. The worst thing Jabinskiz did all season was make me draft in one of our series. Honestly probably why we missed playoffs lol. Pretty sure he’s one of the those people anyone wants on a team, with the caveat that he’s actually playing DOTA.
Blakkout:
You guys should all feel bad for the guy: he had to support with me. And I’m probably the biggest piece of shit 4 in existence. Like I never buy wards/sentries/detection. I kinda don’t play like a support. But he never complained once, and was super positive during all of our games. Was pretty funny too. I can’t remember what his exact rank was, but I think he’s better than it. He also had the Jabinskiz problem of not playing DOTA during the season. Honestly our entire team did.
SteveyRuggles:
So SteveyRuggles was our best player, and it’s not that close. I do wish he would have taken more of a drafting/shotcaller role as our best player, but I think he’s more of a quiet/shy type. He tried his best to carry us, but sometimes our offlane’s corpse was just wayyy too bloated. Still tho, definitely mega PMA. I was actually kinda surprised he did as well as he did, because I think he had taken a full year off DOTA prior to season 22.
Phoenix:
Phoenix was a pretty solid carry, but he’s definitely one of those carries that needs their offlane to do pretty well, which uh… Yeah so he was still able to carry us some games, others not so much. He’s pretty good tho. I think he dropped like a full badge over the season, probably a great value pick next season. Phoenix and me are both from the same area, and both of us are Mavs fans. And lemme tell you. He might have some of the worst NBA takes of all time. I know most of you guys don’t care about basketball, but Phoenix wanted the Mavs to start Willey Cauley-Stein over Porzingis lmao. Yikes. Phoenix was a really cool guy tho.
Summary:
Like all team reviews, I don’t have a lot of negatives. There was literally no tilt and everyone was positive and fun. I do wish we could have won more games, but I think that’s on me and Jabinskiz for getting dismantled in the offlane every game. We were one game from playoffs, so that’s kinda sadge. I expected us to be better, but I guess that’s what happens when no one on your team plays any DOTA except on Sunday nights. GG’s boys.
